I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
