I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
