I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize