do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
