We won't sleep together?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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