"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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