if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
