i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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