New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
