That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
