My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
