Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
