if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
