We named our party play list daddy issues
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize