That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Two words: nipple clamps
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