i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
