The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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