Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
