She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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