I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Operation Purity has been aborted
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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