Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
