i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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