i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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