we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
