Your tits are I can't wait for
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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