she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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