So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
