We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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