part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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