There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
