he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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