My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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