I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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