Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
