Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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