we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
