I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
