There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
