Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
false alarm. still invincible.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
