just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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