they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have fence marks all over my body
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
