ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
