Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
