Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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