yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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