What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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