Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
