she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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