I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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