He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
