Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's Friday. Sex?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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