It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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