Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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