Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
