Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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