you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
