Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
