In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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