every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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