come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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