i will never coherently bang her
Did you just see the Batmobile???
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
